100 post give-away!!

In honor of the 100th post on my blog, I wanted to offer my first give-away. Besides that, I have had people tell me they pop in on my blog occasionally and they never leave comments. It's not fun feeling like you're all alone in the world, so you have to leave a comment in order to be entered in.
Please tell me what your favorite post has been and why. I will let my kids draw a number and the winner will win a really lame prize! Ok, I think it is cool, but maybe that's why no one wants to leave comments. As Thumper says, "if you can't say something nice....."
Here is a nice Valentine's Day Decoration you will win. (you choose the color scheme)
The drawing will take place next Friday. Good luck! ;)

Road Rage?

Oh,Fellow Drivers, How Doth Thou Annoy Me? Let me count the ways!
1. driving 5 miles under the speed limit is annoying!
2. driving 10 miles under the speed limit is aggravating!
3. driving 15 freekin' miles under the speed limit is maddening!
(and those of you from my neck of the woods, why are these drivers almost always a 2C license plate?)
4. pulling out in front of a mini van full of kids or a land rover that is 2 times bigger than you seems like a great plan!
5. stopping your car 10 feet short of the stop sign at a 4 way stop so you can go first is TOTALLY CHEATING!
6. not signaling for the turn when I'm waiting for you to pass in order to pull onto the road, and then turning at the last minute; very polite.
7. intentionally not letting me merge, when I'm trying to merge very nicely...
8. flipping me off for a ridiculous reason (*I'm* never at fault) As Capt. Jack Sparrow says, "sticks & stones, Love." But if I WAS at fault, at least I'd feel you were justified in giving me the bird.
9. Tailgating is only fun when you're at a football game. It's ok to tailgate me if I'm doing #s 1-3.
you have my permission.
10. entering the freeway at 50 mph or less. (you know who you are, BlueHairs)

What are some of the aggravating things you're dealing with lately?

Help the Helpless

I am not computer savvy. It seems that those of us who have smart people around us, depend on them and don't take the time to learn more than the very basics. I had to have my husband show me how to upload pictures from the internet and the camera several times during the last year for my blog. I finally put a cute background up, and now I can't figure out how to get it off.
I have been trying all month, and still am stuck with the cute snowflakes. It is kind of fitting, because it is still snowing, but I'd like a change!
Anyone know how to do it?

The Quest

I have been on a quest to find The Perfect Cinnamon Roll. And I've been dreaming of finding the recipe for The Perfect Orange Roll. This means that I have to make and eat cinnamon rolls whenever I find a promising recipe. I even went to a class last night to learn the recipe for someone's cinnamon rolls that sounded exciting. However, when I followed her instructions they cooked too hot and were crispy on top. (My sister's turned out the same at her house, so I know it wasn't me)
Here are some criteria:
The faster, the better. I love recipes that don't have to rise.
Not too bready, but not too airy. Substantial though.
They gotta be smothered in cream cheese frosting.

For Orange Rolls, they can't be bitter. I absolutely love the store bought band name (Pillsbury?) ones that come in those cylinders. yummy!
Anyone have any recipes to share?

I Want a Divorce

DISCLAIMER! This is supposed to be humorous. It is NOT meant to offend anyone. If you are easily offended, or in a bad mood, don't read on. This is meant to make you chuckle.

We want a divorce . . . .

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, slate it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our own ways.

Here is a model dissolution agreement.

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be relatively easy!

Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (you are however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan Hockey Moms, greedy CEO's, and Rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran, Palestine, and France , and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way of life are under assault, we'll provide them job security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars.
You can take every Subaru Station Wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing Doctors (that is practicing, Howard Dean) who will follow to your turf (sic). We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and The National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach The World To Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics, and you can give trickle up poverty its best shot.

Since it often so offends you we'll keep our History, our Name, and our Flag.

Would you agree to this?

In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you A WAR on who will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student
American

P.S. Please take Barbra Streisand.

Kid Antics

It is late at night, all the kids are asleep (or at least supposed to be). Suddenly, Lachlan starts crying. Hmmm, that's strange. Not that he is crying, but that he is crying so soon. Abram decides to get up and see what's going on. But before Abram leaves the room, Locke stops crying. Abram gets back in bed. Then we hear Bang! thump-thump-thump-thump-thump! The sound of a little one jumping out of bed and running across the floor. When Abram gets to Lachlan's room he sees Rowan with both feet hanging over the edge of the crib railing, bum dangling back toward the crib trying to swing herself over onto the floor. The evidence shows she ran out of her room, grabbed the stool from the bathroom, put it up to the crib, climbed in, shoved the binky in Lachlans' mouth and was trying to make her get-away. It was too funny to be angry about, although Locke had started crying again once she came in the room.
This morning as we're eating breakfast, Brenna was breathing quite noisily and I ask her if she has a stuffy nose. No, she says. I get up to dish some more malt-o-meal into Aisling's bowl and she says, "Mom, don't talk about gross stuff when we're eating. "
"Like ask if you want brain-boogers?" I ask innocently as I slop the mush into her bowl.
"No, like don't talk about stuffy noses. Especially when I'm around."
Apparently Aisling is learning something at school. I'm just not sure if I should call it manners, ettiquette, or snobbery.

Flatulence

I am a private person about certain body functions. I don't even like my husband to know that I am quite human and sometimes I, it is hard to admit, let stinkers.
The other night we were watching a movie together and after it was over, he got up and left the room. I let a little one thinking I was safe. Suddenly he came back in & tried to sit down by me. I was mortified and pushed him away lest he smell the offender. "Get out of here, I just let one!" I hollered, embarrassed to no end.
Certain people in my family have no qualms about 'farting' whenever they feel like it; Abram, Lachlan, my sister and her kids. :) However, I felt this youtube video nearly perfectly describes my feelings on the subject.
(sorry, I couldn't figure out how to put the video right here on my page)
While you're there you should check out this man-cold clip. It is hilarious! (Ok, now you're getting a taste of my weird sense of humor) You probably shouldn't watch too many other clips by Man Stroke Woman, I can't vouch for their cleanliness or morality. (British TV)
Can anyone catch what the 'medic' says to Laura as he walks out the door?