To have or Not To have... more kids

Many of you know that I am 'waffling' on the idea of having more kids. Sentimentally, I like the idea of having more. Abram keeps talking about how he needs more sons. ( I know, I know! I keep telling him the odds are against him) I knew we couldn't just have one, that seems pretty mean to the poor child. To lay all your attention, hopes, etc all on their lap. I knew we couldn't just have two. They would fight all the time, try to pit each parent against the other, etc. There would be constant sibling rivalry. I knew we couldn't just have 3. I definitely don't want to deal with 'middle child' syndrome. I know you can't help with 'oldest child' syndrome, or 'baby' syndrome, but the edge seems to be taken off those when there are more than 3. I've thought to myself that 4 seems perfect. There are enough playmates to go around, enough variety to keep others from being too competetive, enough 'partners' if we ever want to ride the rides at Disneyland, and enough craziness to keep any One from getting too much attention. Now that I am 'due' to be getting pregnant again ( if I want to keep on my former schedule of birthing babies every 20 months or so) I try to keep from getting stressed out about whether or not we "should". I know the answer to that, we definitely *shouldn't* have anymore, but do I really WANT to? To be perfectly honest, I'm scared. And it might surprise you what I'm scared about. I'm not scared about the whole pregnancy/labor/delivery due to a wonderful, spiritual awesome experience I had with Lachlan. I'm not worried about being able to 'afford' them. I was raised pretty poor and I'm not afraid of not having money. Besides, it looks like everyone might be in that category soon. (HOPE NOT!) I'm not even really afraid of whether or not I can 'handle' that many kids and stay sane, or not wind up in jail. (that's kind of a joke) I am actually afraid of having a #5 Child. What is that, you may ask? It's the child that REALLY works you over. Don't get me wrong, I already have at least 3 that are pretty challenging. I haven't gotten lucky to get an easy-going, well-mannered, go-with-the-flow kind of kid. But of the large-ish families I know, the #5 child seems to be Extra Special! (No offense if any of you are the #5, I didn't have you in mind!) So right now, I acknowledge the challenges I've been given and so far, we are ok. But I am really frightened of throwing a #5 into the mix. I really couldn't handle one like my little brother, bless his soul. I think I have PTSS just from living with him all those years. I like to think I'm adventurous and take life on with a smile, but I just don't know if I can take this jump into the unknown.... I'm probably overreacting, but you know that saying about cutting your losses while you're ahead, (or something like that) I feel like that should apply here. Not barring the unseen future, we've been relatively lucky not to have any major mishaps or medical problems or behavioral ordeals. What is it that keeps you from having more children?

From Dusk 'til Dawn

So this morning I got my kids some breakfast and went into the office to do some 'computer stuff'. One by one I hear the little feet go upstairs, and waited for the youngest to start crying from his hair chair. No cries. I waited a little longer, and then longer still. No noise. I listened very carefully and heard some heavy breathing and slight snoring. I went in to find Locke asleep in his breakfast. I guess there were some wild parties last night at his 'crib'.
At least he threw his bowl of multi-grain Cheerios overboard before hitting the deck.
This is what Rowan resorts to when her binky gets hidden by a well-intentioned mother. Yes, that is infant fever-reducer with the syringe type lid. Look at those puffy eyes. Do your kids ever sleep on their faces? Notice the hair rubbing. That is something I've been meaning to do a post on.
Here is Rowan screaming at the park because I am such a mean mom, I refuse to push my kids on the swing. My premise is that I take them to the park to get *their* energy out, not to get *my* exercise. I make them run around and go down the slides and such. So mean!
This is a picture of how my office looks after I cleaned it. j/k. I am still trying to unpack boxes. I had done a lot of work and emptied about 4 boxes, but it is still not quite done. I thought it was cute that Rowan dragged Lachlan into the box with her and was playing with him. It was waaaay past their bedtime.
Speaking of Rowan, I just heard a very loud bang of the highchair tray hitting the floor. I ran in to find Rowan 'saving the day' once again. She found Lachlan asleep at his tray and decided to let him out. When I came in and cried, "Rowan!" she said, "Lachlan's done, Mommy." Indeed he was. He has a lovely red mark on his cheek from the tray he was sleeping on as well.
Here is my cutie kindergartener waiting for the bus. She LOVES to ride the bus. Did you ride the bus when you were a kid? How did you like it?

Groundhog Day

Will Punxutawny Phil see his shadow? Is anyone really holding their breath on this one? When I was little I never understood (and really it is a mystery today) why if he saw his shadow it meant 6 more weeks of winter. It seems to me, that if the sun is out, it should mean we get an early spring. Nonetheless, I've given up hoping he might not see his shadow, because I believe he has every year as long as I can remember. Nowadays I understand we actually need the winter (snow) for the good of all people. Since we live in a desert and the farmers and homeowners rely upon the water for survival, I hope for the next 6 weeks to be very snowy and wintery. But after that, Welcome spring!!

Genetics & Family History

For those of you who know my husband, you will see the striking resemblance from him to the man in this photo. All these years I have been married to my husband he has told me how he takes after his mother's side of the family.. looking the most like his mother's father. This picture was discovered last week after his paternal grandfather passed away and proves the opposite. This is a picture of Abram's great-great grandfather and the resemblance is uncannily similar. It is truly amazing!
The man's name is William Joseph. (Abram was actually named after him, ironically enough, with the middle name of William) We believe the smallest boy was Abram's great grandfather, named John Raymond. He had a son named George who had a son, Richard, who had a son; Abram. Neither Richard nor Abram had ever seen this picture before.
William Joseph's wife died in childbirth after the daughter was born, and soon after the family moved from Missouri to Idaho. There isn't any info about him remarrying.
I find it quite remarkable that these genes could be recessive for 3 generations and then manifest themselves again in my husband. Very cool, me thinks. :)

100 post give-away!!

In honor of the 100th post on my blog, I wanted to offer my first give-away. Besides that, I have had people tell me they pop in on my blog occasionally and they never leave comments. It's not fun feeling like you're all alone in the world, so you have to leave a comment in order to be entered in.
Please tell me what your favorite post has been and why. I will let my kids draw a number and the winner will win a really lame prize! Ok, I think it is cool, but maybe that's why no one wants to leave comments. As Thumper says, "if you can't say something nice....."
Here is a nice Valentine's Day Decoration you will win. (you choose the color scheme)
The drawing will take place next Friday. Good luck! ;)

Road Rage?

Oh,Fellow Drivers, How Doth Thou Annoy Me? Let me count the ways!
1. driving 5 miles under the speed limit is annoying!
2. driving 10 miles under the speed limit is aggravating!
3. driving 15 freekin' miles under the speed limit is maddening!
(and those of you from my neck of the woods, why are these drivers almost always a 2C license plate?)
4. pulling out in front of a mini van full of kids or a land rover that is 2 times bigger than you seems like a great plan!
5. stopping your car 10 feet short of the stop sign at a 4 way stop so you can go first is TOTALLY CHEATING!
6. not signaling for the turn when I'm waiting for you to pass in order to pull onto the road, and then turning at the last minute; very polite.
7. intentionally not letting me merge, when I'm trying to merge very nicely...
8. flipping me off for a ridiculous reason (*I'm* never at fault) As Capt. Jack Sparrow says, "sticks & stones, Love." But if I WAS at fault, at least I'd feel you were justified in giving me the bird.
9. Tailgating is only fun when you're at a football game. It's ok to tailgate me if I'm doing #s 1-3.
you have my permission.
10. entering the freeway at 50 mph or less. (you know who you are, BlueHairs)

What are some of the aggravating things you're dealing with lately?

Help the Helpless

I am not computer savvy. It seems that those of us who have smart people around us, depend on them and don't take the time to learn more than the very basics. I had to have my husband show me how to upload pictures from the internet and the camera several times during the last year for my blog. I finally put a cute background up, and now I can't figure out how to get it off.
I have been trying all month, and still am stuck with the cute snowflakes. It is kind of fitting, because it is still snowing, but I'd like a change!
Anyone know how to do it?